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+--- Thread: Where is Data Link connector, Car joke, Bar joke (/showthread.php?tid=9859)
Where is Data Link connector, Car joke, Bar joke - TOYOTECH2015 - 27-05-2020
Hmmm, Where is my data link connector?
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HERE ARE SOME CAR JOKES FOR YOU GUYS JUST FOR FUN.
7 Driving Jokes to Make Your Day
Sit back, relax and enjoy a compilation of some funny driving jokes.
An man buys a sports car and is really beginning to enjoy it when he sees flashing lights in the rear view mirror. He guns it and is rapidly up to 160mph when he realizes what he is doing. He slows down, then pulls over and soon the cop pulls up behind him.
The cop comes up to the window and asks, “What were you thinking, taking off like that?”
“Well,” the man replies after thinking about it for a bit, “a few years ago a highway patrol officer ran off with my wife.”
“What does that have to do with anything.”
“I thought you were bringing her back.”
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Why do chicken coupes have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 doors they’d be a chicken sedan
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A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says “OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out.”
Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.
After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic “So, did you find out what’s wrong?”
The mechanic looks at the penguin and says “It looks like you blew a seal.”
The penguin quickly wipes his face and says “Oh, no, that’s just the ice cream.”
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Police officer: “Can you identify yourself, sir?”
Driver pulls out his mirror and says: “Yes, it’s me.”
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Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blonde looks out the window and says, “Yes. No. Yes. No.”
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A priest was driving down the road one day when getting stopped by a cop.
The cop smelled alcohol on the priest’s breath and saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He said to the priest, “Father, have you been drinking?”
The priest replied, “Only water, officer.”
The cop then asked him, “Then why can I smell wine?”
The priest looked at the bottle and said, “Good Lord! He’s done it again.”
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There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway.
His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!”
Herman says, ”I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!’
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Bar Jokes
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild.
The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No. What did that stupid **** do this time?", says the patron.
"Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole", says the bartender.
"Yeah, well I hope it kills the little f**ker because he's been driving me nuts", says the patron.
The guy finishes his drink and leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back in with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again.
While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a grape on the bar.
He grabs the grape, sticks it up his a**, then pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks.
"What now?", responds the patron.
"Well, he stuck a grape up his a**, then pulled it out and ate it", says the barkeeper.
"Well, what did you expect?", replied the patron. "Ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"